I have 2 ten year olds. They are 3 months apart. For years now I have been answering the question, "Are they twins?" Um, no. But having 2 kids the same age in the same grade feels a lot like having twins, so I often just respond, "Virtual twins."
They are both incredibly smart. They are equally passionate and inquisitive. One is in the gifted program at school, one is pulled out for remedial reading and math. One is representing his class in the school Spelling Bee this week, the other struggles to read and spell the simplest words because she has dyslexia.
One has perfect vision, one is legally blind. One we call "Whisper 2000" because he hears everything-- whether it is his business or not, the other wears hearing aids.
One is biological, one is adopted. One had nothing traumatic or hard happen to him as a baby, the other was abandoned at two months and lived in a Chinese orphanage for 3 years. Years.
These two used to be best friends. Inseparable. Then they turned 9 and started to fight all the time. One is jealous because he thinks the other gets more attention at home, the other is jealous because she thinks everything is easy for him.
As parents we see both sides. We get both sides. We don't have to split our hearts to hurt for both of them. We are their parents and we love them equally, but differently.
Over the course of the last few months we have been contemplating sending our daughter to another school. A private school for kids with dyslexia. It is a wonderful school, but it is expensive and they do not have the vision services that she needs. We just didn't know if it was the right decision for her.
We never budgeted or planned for private school. I had recently quit my job to be home. My kids ride the bus, which I love! I would rather not have to drive 20 minutes one way two times per day to get her there... I always wanted my "twins" in the same school, in the same class even. Putting them in different schools was not how I had planned it. But after a lot of thought and prayer, I was pretty convinced what we had going was not the best situation. For her, but because they were so connected, it was also negatively affecting him. He shouldn't feel guilty that school is easy. And it's no fun for her to daily watch him, and grow bitter about how much harder everything is for her.
They are so different and so are their needs. After touring the private school and learning more about what is available to her, we decided to just take the leap and do it. It is a place that we can totally see her fitting in and blossoming. She is truly amazing and just needs to be given opportunities to show it.
As a parent, seeing the big picture in decisions that we make for our kids is not always natural. Seeing the logistical challenges and price tag(s) is. At least for me. Today the official school acceptance came in and the change became official. For the past 3 hours they have been playing together and enjoying each other more than they have in the past 2 years. I am not exaggerating. Something beautiful is about to happen with my Yin & Yang. Freedom for both of them to be who they are, who God made them, without the stress of comparison or competition. I'm excited to watch it unfold!
